When your body changes and your life changes at the same time.
You may be wondering how to handle changes when you’re in the midst of everything happening all at once, or if you’re preparing for something new.
It’s Anne here, reflecting on big life changes:
There's a particular kind of disorientation that shows up when a major life transition and a major body transition show up at the same time. Maybe you're deep in the fog of early motherhood while your hormones are rewriting the rules daily. Maybe you're noticing the first signs of perimenopause right as your kids leave for college, your marriage shifts, or your career hits a new chapter. Regardless of the changes causing this crazy shift, you might be asking: why does this feel so much bigger than "just hormones" (or time management, or burnout and focus)?
I’ve been working recently with people in life transitions, and there’s been a lot of reflection in “what do I want??” Finding, understanding, and truly experiencing what that is can be a huge undertaking when your body and mind seem to be changing underneath. Usually this is a pretty individual process, as most of us want something a bit different from the next person, but here’s a few questions to get you thinking:
When I have a moment to myself, what do I want to do with that time?
When I’m tired and not feeling myself, what do I want instead?
When I’m out with friends and laughing at great jokes - what do I want more of that these experiences are highlighting?
It's Not Just in Your Head — But Your Head Is Part of It
Perimenopause, work shifts, and the transition into motherhood are, at their core, nervous system events. Your body is recalibrating on a hormonal level, and your nervous system — the part of you responsible for safety, regulation, and stress response — is recalibrating right alongside it. That's why so many women describe shifting seasons as feeling like they don't recognize themselves: mood swings that seem to come from nowhere, anxiety that wasn't there before, a short fuse, or a persistent sense of grief for a version of yourself that's shifting.
This isn't a character flaw or a failure to "handle it better." It's biology and psychology moving through a genuine transition together. When we treat these life stages as purely physical, we can miss almost half the picture, and this can sometimes lead us to miss the tools that actually help.
Where my work builds understanding within ourselves
This is where my private practice as a mental health coach comes in alongside Alyssa's clinical, pelvic-health expertise. My focus is on the mental and emotional architecture of these transitions — helping women build tools to actually work with a changing nervous system instead of white-knuckling through it - and burning ourselves out in the process.
A few things I come back to again and again with clients navigating perimenopause or the identity shifts of the many phases of life:
Validate the feelings you’re experiencing during this transition. Simply acknowledging that there are lots of complicated feelings and recognizing the individual pieces of anxiousness, frustration, or grief, can help you bring some gratitude to your body for communicating an emotion to us. Noting that our emotions are pieces of information for us to interpret, rather than a result or “proof” that things are going wrong.
Breathwork as a regulation tool, not a luxury. My favorite breath is the 4-7-8, and I’ve used it myself for years. In for 4 counts, hold for 7, and out for 8. This is great to do three in a row before you fall asleep, it’s great to break up a difficult moment during your day, and it’s great to bring some focus to your work or experience. It’s a more effective technique if you practice it in a calm environment a couple times a day - that way, if something stressful happens, it’s easy for you to use this technique without much thought. A slow, extended exhale can also be an amazing way to signal safety to your nervous system in the middle of a hard moment. It's free, it's fast, and it works.
The concept of identity or the "who am I now" questions. The language you use internally about this stage, "falling apart" versus "reorganizing", genuinely changes how your nervous system responds to it. Who do you feel like you are in this moment? What might you want to be more of, and what would you like to lessen about yourself to really feel good? Using positive language to move into the person you want to be rather than trying to not be a version of yourself will help you identify, build momentum, and be more successful when you’re working towards something rather than away from.
Protecting rest as non-negotiable, not something you earn after everything else is done - and it doesn’t have to be a whole rest day, just a couple of moments!
What does rest look like and feel like to you? When do you feel more focused and energized, and how can you incorporate a few of those moments into your day?
You're Not Meant to Navigate This Alone
This is something I love to say in my breathwork sessions - if you're feeling like your body and your life are both changing faster than you can keep up with, you don't have to figure it out on your own. This is exactly the kind of season that benefits from support — someone who understands both the emotional weight of the transition and practical tools to move through it with more resources and options. Someone who can observe your circumstances with a different perspective and give you some purposeful, impactful, and supportive resources and perspectives to get you moving in the right directions.
That's the work Every Woman Project exists to do: pairing lived, professional support for the mental and emotional side of women's health with the clinical pelvic-health and clinical expertise, so you get the full picture — not just half of it.
We’re continually coming out with more resources and products for you as we grow our content and knowledge! Check back to our page, or feel free to ask a question in our comment boxes on the website to get more detailed information!
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